Tales from an alternate
universe where, instead of being all-star podcasters, the members of Team DBAH
sought their fortunes inside the squared circle. Wars will be waged, champions will rise, and
loyalties will be tested in a two-year-old game based on a show about wrestling
that isn’t wrestling.
exploded onto the scene in the WWE the night after Wrestlemania XXIX. Lead by the never static, always charismatic
Charlie Danger, the men in red and black made definitive statements that a new
era had begun. Craig Tiki, masked master
of the dropkick, excelled at aerial feats while the mohawked Msgt. Bush
suplexed foes into submission. Rounding
out the group was The Wolf, a monster from humanity’s Darkest Fears. For the first two months, the Team dominated
the lower and mid-card, putting their peers on notice: Team DBAH had arrived
and nothing would stand in their way.
The Team’s first real challenge came from the
team of Tensai and Brodus Clay, Tons of Funk.
The tattooed titans sought to squash the upstart stable, represented by
Danger and Bush. Much to ToF’s surprise, it was they who would by
dominated week in and week out by the two gladiators, culminating in decisive
victories at June’s No Way Out and July’s Money in the Bank.
made a particularly impressive showing, was given a shot at Kofi Kingston’s United States Championship while
Danger and Tiki were announced as number one contender’s to the Tag Team Championship held
by Shield members, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. Despite the amicability between the two
superstars, Bush and Kingston wrestled hard-hitting matches for a month until
Bush was able to defeat the high-flyer at Summerslam, earning his first singles
title. That same night, despite weeks of
underhanded schemes and dirty tactics, Danger and Tiki scored a victory over
the Shield, becoming the WWE Tag Team Champions. On the road to their rematch, Bush and
soured. Desperate to reclaim his lost
title, Kingston turned heel and viciously attacked the new champion, taking the
rivalry to new heights of aggression.
Despite giving into his rage, Kingston was unable to take back the title
at Night of Champions, and the Master Sergeant retained. Similarly, Danger and Tiki were successful in
fending off the ambushes of the Shield and also retained that same night.
Bush’s first challenger for his United
States Championship was the Milan Miracle, Santino Marella, who challenged the
reigning champion at Hell in a Cell. The
match was one of unprecedented ferocity and not even the steel enclosure could
contain the two superstars, as the match quickly spilled to the outside after
Bush suplexed Marella through one of the walls.
The two brawled their way to the top of the cell until, after a
tumultuous back-and-forth, Bush managed to powerbomb the Italian grappler off
the roof and send him hurtling into the announce table below. A final Saving Grace inside the ring was
enough for the Champion to claim victory.
after two months respite from their last title defense, Danger and Tiki were
eagerly awaiting the announcement of their new number one contender’s.
To their amazement, their old nemeses Reigns and Rollins had clawed
their way back through the Tag Team ranks to challenge the champion’s to a Tag Team Table Match at
Tables, Ladders and Chairs. The match
was pure chaos as bodies and tables were strewn everywhere. While Tiki and Rollins viciously dueled
outside the ring, Danger speared Reigns through a table set up in a corner,
securing the win.
rolled right into the New Year, facing their number one contender’s, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara, head on
at the Royal Rumble in a Tag Team Falls Count Anywhere match. Despite the high-flying antics of their
masked foes, DBAH managed to pick up the win after Tiki gave Sin Cara a Side
Effect through the announce table. The
masked duo was not done with the champions yet and continue to face them
through the weeks leading to Elimination Chamber all the way to
Wrestlemania. The rivalry was fierce and
tensions exploded on both sides, with both teams getting into squabbles over
victories and losses. However, Tiki and
Danger were able to put aside their grievances on the grandest stage of them
all and retain the titles at Wrestlemania XXX.
While all of
this was going on, the WWE Universe was shocked at the announcement of United
States Champion Msgt. Bush as number one contender for the WWE
Championship. Triple H, having just won
the championship from Mr. Money in the Bank CM Punk, was nonplussed about the
announcement, to say the least. The Game
launched a brutal campaign against his challenger of mind games and post-match
attacks. However, it was all for naught
as Bush was able to claim victory at the Royal Rumble by pinfall, and became
the holder of two title belts. Bush was
immediately put through the wringer at February’s Elimination Chamber, where the
champion was forced to defend his new title against five other superstars,
including rival Triple H, in the eponymous match. Despite the colossal odds, the champion
retained, vanquishing his opponents.
However, the next night on Raw, the former champion, Triple H, announced
he would be invoking his rematch clause at Wrestlemania XXX in an I Quit match. What followed was one of the most brutal
rivalries ever seen by this writer.
Matches often overflowed outside of the ring, destroying barriers and
tables. The walls of Wrestlemania echoed
with numerous chair shots and sickening thuds of suplexes on the ringside
floor. After being slammed into his own
sledgehammer and driven face first into a chair, the Cerebral Assassin said “I quit,” and Msgt. Bush retained, leaving
Wrestlemania still the WWE Champion.
And what of
The Wolf? The Terror from Humanity’s Darkest Fears has remained in the
mid-card, despite a near perfect win record.
His Royal Rumble showing was less than stellar. Despite entering rather late in the contest,
the Wolf only wrestled for a full minute before being eliminated by a group of wrestlers. Will a new year bring a fresh season for the
importantly, what will the new year bring for Team DBAH? Many think that Danger and Tiki are some of
the top wrestlers in the company. What
would happen if they were named top contender’s for one of Bush’s titles? Can last year’s most dominant new arrivals maintain
their reign and, perhaps more importantly, their cohesion? And what new faces lurk on the horizon? Only time will tell.
Labels: TEAM DBAH, Wresting isn't wrestling, Wrestlemania 31, WWE, WWE2K14, Xbox 360